Chapter 172

Loiza's POV

I was in no mood for anyone right now, I just want to go to The Lagoon and play with my babies and kiss my man... Maybe get something more. Unfortunately...

"Cacique, there's a supplicant waiting for you in the Throne Room." Jana intersected me.

"Who Beta?" Ugh!

"Admiral Casimar and Commander Hatuey..." She said with a more careful tone... UGH!

"I'm on my way!" I say with gritted teeth, I'm not getting all prissy and prim for those two!

"Do you want me to go with you Cacique?" I was already on my way with my back to her.

"Don't worry about this Jana, they're MINE!" I say with a slight growl.

"Oooookaaaay, link if you need anything..." I know she was silently thanking the Goddess for sparing her that.

I walk in and they're both waiting standing... They wait like that until I reach the Dujo and sit. Alpha switch, on...

"Welcome to you both! What an honor to have such esteemed guests. How may I be of service to you Admiral?" I don't even look at Hatuey. He looks at his brother and when no response was achieved, Casimar grabbed Hatuey by his scruff and shoved him to the floor of the second platform, Hatuey stayed down in submission to his brother and to me.

"Cacique, I have come as Head of my family to beg for mercy and forgiveness for this moron's actions! I swear on the bones of my--" I cut him off. I don't want anyone swearing on the bones of their ancestors over a fucking CAR!

"There's no need for you to put the souls of your ancestors in such a questionable position over a car Admiral. Hatuey, because of your own show of dishonor I am demoting you from the rank of commander to lieutenant, you're going to have to EARN that position again. Is that understood?" I say as calmly as I can. What is a car compared to someone's LIFE?! I know WHY he did it and I'm not going to ruin his life and career over something so trivial, hell yeah I was pissed, but I am Cacique and I already abuse that power more than I feel comfortable with.

"I understand Cacique! I still plead forgiveness and am full of gratitude for your mercy--" I could always still gut him from nose to naval and he's still groveling?!

"Oh, SHUT UP Hatuey! I can always change my mind and take your ass down to colonel or strip you of rank all together! Just get out of my sight and stay THERE for a good while, LIEUTENANT! Now leave!" I say that last part with a hiss, yet when Casimar bows to take his leave with his brother...

"Not YOU Admiral. I haven't dismissed YOU." He looks up at me with a hint of anger and fear. That little anger has been a thorn in my ass and it ends now! I stand up and walk down the steps passing by him.

"Follow me..." I hear him take a deep breath before he follows me into my office and I raise the sound barrier. I sit down and offer a chair so he could sit as well.

"I'm going to cut through the bullshit Casimar... What the fuck is wrong with you?! Are you still pissed at me? Because last time we spoke we had agreed to be friends, what changed?" I will fucking command him to spill it if necessary.

He shuts his eyes tightly and rubs his face.

"I guess NOTHING changed to begin with, not one to mince words once you found your voice huh Izz?! I fucking LOVED you, I could always smell Víctor ALL OVER your body, I could smell he had more... Access to you than I ever did! I never said shit! I had hoped that the Goddess would grant my prayers and that you would be MINE and rub it in everyone's face! And now you're MATED with two pups!" His beautiful yellow eyes turn silver, Kali was pleading.

How can I stay angry at Isla when I did stupid things when I was younger too. I also used men, I didn't do anything like what she did but I knew they loved me. I remember how the gorgeous and powerful Captain Casimar would parade me full of pride at his arm. He too had many admirers, hell! I was one of them! Back then I was regarded with respect because of my rank, but I still barely talked and Nina was causing havoc to our family name... He was the Admiral's son, General Braka's nephew! Yet when I arrived from a mission my room would be full of red roses from him, and then there was the clothes he would buy that he wanted me to wear to take me out. Like if I was a damn doll he could dress up to his taste, I loved the flowers... The dressing me how he liked irked me. Still, he was so gentle, it was an alluring sight... This massive 6'9" wolf coaxing me gently to say a few words while stroking my hair and kissing were he wanted to Mark me. It was very sweet... I LOVED his touch. But he was never as bold as Víctor and I was very inexperienced...

"Casi, I'm sorry about Víctor. We BOTH had suitors---" He stood up in anger! I allow it, he has the right to be angry.

"Fuck that Izzy! I NEVER betrayed you! I WORSHIPED the ground you stepped on! I was fucking TERRIFIED when the blast happened, I knew you would do EVERYTHING even dying if it came to that! I STILL would go to my altar in my cabin and beg for the Goddess to reconsider!" And this ladies and gentlemen is why keeping things bottled up is a terrible idea. I looked at his distress in silence. I'm trying to find the right words to say.

"Your right, you were true to me, I never scented anyone else on you. Casi, I was 16 years old! I'm barely 20 NOW! You WERE true to me, but when you were that age then, you had SEVERAL girls with whom you had your own fun with DIDN'T YOU? You were 22 by the time WE were together and were banking on our family's influence to pay off a Goddess! What? Did you think I didn't know? You had your own fun and wanted to SETTLE with me! I KNOW you loved me, didn't you feel that I LOVED you?!" He started to look uncomfortable...

"At least Víctor was HONEST with me ALL the time. He didn't parade me like a prize, his family doesn't have the same influence as yours or mine, he ALSO loved me! And yet it was with you that I had hoped we could stay friends and lo and behold, it's with him I feel at ease! A relationship that even became violent! We have found common ground because in spite of everything, Víctor actually UNDERSTOOD me! I STILL love him, only that the nature of that love has changed!" I slide my hand over my hair restless smoothing my braid.

"I did feel that you loved me Izz, I will always cherish those memories... I just didn't understand why would you not be true to ME!" He says softly full of melancholy... I have no power over what my heart wants, my nature as Amphitrite was SEARCHING for Apollo and in my subconscious I tied that search to Víctor... Everything he did seemed like what I was searching for, even though I didn't know yet that I was searching for anything. However the gentle side of Casimar and the yellow of his eyes would be a reminder that neither one was what I was searching for. I was so confused...

"Casi, I wasn't what you thought I was. You treated me like I was this delicate thing, and don't get me wrong... I really liked it. I LOVED walking by your side! I too was hopeful for a match, I had hoped that maybe if we were mated you would understand me better, that you would stop nagging me about going off Island on missions. Not once did you ask your father to add me to the crew for a mission. You KNEW what I could do and that I didn't need a babysitter, yet that's how you made me feel, even after I TOLD you to stop! Are you still angry about Víctor? I know you knew there really wasn't anything between Yadiel or Bruno and I... So it MUST be JUST Víctor. I told you before, Víctor understood me from the start! He didn't need to be mated to me by a deity to watch and OBSERVE how I liked and didn't like to be treated. He took into consideration the fact that I was still coming out from my shell. He didn't hide strategy and ugly facts from me, he treated me like I was his EQUAL! Do you have any idea how ALIVE it made me feel?! I knew that he even DEPENDED on me, he would consult tactics with me, we would study each other's notes, he made me feel he NEEDED me!" He stands up full of frustration and punches the stone wall cracking it with a growl... Dumbass! He must have broken a few fingers!

"Your paying for that Admiral, I'll send you the bill! Casimar, what does it matter now? You said it yourself, I have a mate! Víctor has a mate, he's my Beta and my friend and MY MATE knows EVERYTHING... Even about YOU. I can apologize, AGAIN, for how I behaved while I was your intended. You saw my ENTIRE body, you SAW I hadn't gone beyond what is expected of my station and rank, you KNEW that as a Priestess there would be lines I wouldn't cross! But Casimar, I can't apologize for being MATED with Kayden! So tell me Admiral... What CAN I do NOW that will breach this gap? Casi, your my Admiral, are you still so angry at me that even after your so called fright for my life, Hatuey, whom you KNOW I adore... Well not right now... Would steal my Abuelo's car?! WHY?!" He's rubbing his hand, I bet he broke his little finger again... Sigh.

I reach out to him so he can pass me his hand, I used to always fix it for him and speed his healing. His right punch is VERY powerful, so much so that even his own bones can't take it sometimes, especially depending on the surface. His eyes are glazing over, I really hope that he accepts that this is how it IS. Even in great pain, we must accept what happened and move on when there is no other recourse, to keep trying to change the placement of a mountain will lead you to it carry forever...

"Casi, please... Let me help you, I won't order you. I can't carry these bricks for you cariño." I hope that we can still hold on to that 'cariño' we have for each other. There are dozens of ways of saying love in Spanish... It's such an important part of our culture. The specific words you use for it determines the context in which you refer to that particular kind of love. Many languages have just one word for love, we have dozens! Because there are hundreds of ways to love, all different and particular and some have nothing to do with passion and lust, even though some began that way.

He begrudgingly sits down with that handsome scowl of his and a small pout... I really had to hold my giggle! I take his hand and focus on his bones and the water around it and...

"CLACK!"

"OW! I swear you did that on purpose Izz!" Ha!

"Your damn right!" I reach out again to strengthen the knuckle tendons. He gives me his hand again.

"Izz, I didn't encourage Hatuey to do a natural moronic Hatuey action! I swear... You know what an idiot he can be. He was dumped too, so he's a little prickly!" Really? Dumped?