Chapter 3

chapter THREE - CONSEQUENCES

I stared up into the glassy eyes of my mate and felt myself sink into the need for us to connect, body, mind, and soul. This was the consequence of finding a mate. It didn't matter what towers you built around your heart, the illusion of invulnerability shatters eventually. Like now, I could feel myself longing for what I'd tried to repress.

"You can feel that too, right?" My voice was tiny as I asked the question to the light blue-eyed man. He gave me a long stare and removed his hand from my chest before bursting into laughter. "I have no idea what you're talking about lady, all I know is that you got into the hr office without an invitation nor your cv and asked to be hired into management."

I bowed my head while biting my lip in an attempt to hold back my tears. He was not acknowledging me as his mate, why?

"Any way you look young so I'll give you some advice, go to school, get a certificate, apply for a job here when there's an opening. As the saying goes, if you try, you win."

"I-i have to go," I moved past him to the exit and decided that I would take the stairs down since it was rarely jammed with humans.

The moment I reached the next flight of stairs, my tears rolled down my cheeks and I held my tummy.

I was hopeless. Even if I have a second mate, things wouldn't work out between us because he was human. Humans didn't have the sensitivity that we werewolves did. Secondly, I was pregnant with Vivion's baby. No man would want to raise another child with his mate, that was understandable.

I kept walking a flight of stairs down the other until I reached outside.

I mixed into the crowd and watched as the cars on the road complied with the traffic lights. It was a confusing moment for me but I learned the colors and actions that came after.

While I tried to keep my mind busy, it didn't work as I felt my wolf linger to the surface due to her pain of feeling rejected by our second mate. I could feel the overwhelming sadness in her heart and it drove me damn near the road of insanity.

I felt a rapid shift within me which kept me frozen in place. My wolf was taking over and there was nothing I could do about it within a short period of time because her energy came on strong. I felt my wolf's presence in my body as she attempted to stifle me at the back of her mind.

This worked for a moment as I could slowly feel myself being stifled back and losing control of my body, but then I slowly started to resist her.

NO! She growled at me, IT'S YOUR FAULT WE'RE BEING REJECTED BY OUR MATES! FIRST IT WAS VIVION AND NOW IT IS OUR SECOND MATE! IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I TOOK OVER IN TIMES OF OUR SOUL PARTNER. HE'LL LOVE ME IF IT'S NOT YOU!

Shut up! I quietly said with gritted teeth, her character was more indignant and fierce than mine.

"This body is meant for me to control," I yelled to her in my mind. "You reflect my instincts, but that's not enough to make a man love you. He'll lust for your body, yes but what about what's in our heart?"

When I felt her slightly retreat into the back of my mind, I forcefully took back full control of my body.

I sighed and looked around, hoping no one had noticed anything. But then I stared back at the road. It didn't matter, nothing mattered at all.

This baby I sighed as I held my stomach. My baby would be a sad one if she was born because she didn't have a father. Well, she did but he was not good to me, how could he be good to her? Especially when he sleeps with other women. My daughter would think she has to go above and beyond to receive love but that wasn't true. It wasn't.

A tear rolled down my cheek before I could even help it. I would not be a good mother due to the rejection I got from both of my mates because there was the possibility I would treat her just the way I was treated.

I grew up not knowing what love was like because my aunt constantly verbally abused me and treated me like I was worth nothing until I met Vivion. Things between us were good at first but then it got tragic. He started to cheat and I still held on to him thinking I deserved it.

I didn't know my worth enough to teach my child when she was born so I was going to atone for the sin of my existence by taking both of our lives. That was the only way to get rid of all this suffering and pain that wouldn't leave me.

I took a step closer to the road and clenched my fists. There were a lot of cars moving at full speed. This was my chance to end It all.

I'm sorry my little baby, mother is so sorry.

With that, I ran to the middle of the road and stood there while a bus sped towards me. I stared straight at it with no fear as the driver tried to stop the bus's movement with the brakes. Even at the last moment, I could have saved myself but I didn't. I simply watched as the bus's forceful impact slammed against me, pushing me away from the road and into a ditch.

The consequence of my action

Blood-soaked pants and blurry vision. This was the end I was glad. The sensations in my body were closing in on me as I waited for my death patiently. Any time from now

My vision was fuzzy and my hearing difficult, but I could still hear the footsteps of someone as they made their way to me. I couldn't see who it was but their presence made my heart ache.