Chapter 195

I worry about myself, a little, just passively, as Jackson kisses me. Because something about the way that his mouth moves against mine makes me…just…really, really stupid.

Honestly, all logic is gone from my head – all thoughts, all sense, all practicality.

It’s almost like all of my wolf’s crazy impulses – which I usually think are so ridiculous - come to the forefront, and they all make a great deal of sense. Because the only thing I want to do right now is strip off my clothing, and climb on top of him, and let him do whatever the hell he wants to my body – just take…complete control.

I am all instinct and impulse now as I lose myself in Jackson, as he bends me backwards, slightly, in his arms, levering his body over mine even as he holds me tight, dominating me and demonstrating in the same moment how incredibly precious I am to him.

His hand moves slowly down my side as his tongue dips into my mouth, and my hips rise up against him, seeking friction, wanting to be touched as his hand moves lower to take a firm grip on my ass. I moan, deep and shuddering, as Jackson presses me tighter against him and then lets his hand dip further in, his fingers just barely tracing the hot core of me through the fabric of my cadet uniform.

My head falls back on my neck at this touch, a panting gasp escaping my lips.

“Fuck, Ari,” Jackson growls, tucking his face against my neck and then pressing his cheek to my chest. But he moves his hand away, back to my ass and then slipping down my thigh to tuck safely behind my knee.

I lift my head, confused, foggy. I frown to see Jackson’s frustrated expression, his clenched teeth.

Slowly he shakes his head at me as I blink at him, coming back to myself.

And then I laugh, covering my face with my hands, groaning a little as I do – because I can sense his emotions now, sense just how much he wants to continue precisely what we were doing just a few seconds ago.

But…he’s right. We can’t do any of that right now. Nothing has changed.

And we have…we have got to find some semblance of self-control and resist getting lost in each other. This is the Examination, after all.

“You should sleep,” he murmurs, working to clear his throat.

I laugh at the idea, rolling my eyes even as I sit up in his lap and tuck my hair back from my face, pretending to ignore the hard, thick length of him that’s now pressed against my ass. I do my very, very best to resist the urge to press myself more firmly against that length.

And I…fail. Just a little bit.

Jackson groans, suddenly grabbing me beneath the arms and lifting me bodily out of his lap, placing me gently beside him as if I’m as light as a kitten. I burst out laughing as he leans away from me.

“I cannot be the only responsible party here, Ari,” Jackson growls, glaring at me even as I can see the joy on his face, the temptation in his eyes. “You have got to help me out here.”

“But I don’t want to,” I murmur, leaning closer to him again, reaching to wrap my hand around the back of his neck, wanting his mouth back on mine –

But Jackson just laughs, deep and rueful, pulling away and then getting to his feet, shaking himself from head to toe like the wolf he is. “I am…going to take a very small walk,” he murmurs, turning away from me. “And when I come back, we are going to behave ourselves, yes?”noveldrama

I grumble, discontent, even though I know he’s right. And then Jackson does precisely as he says – walking a little distance away into the woods with his hands on his hips. I smirk, my hearing straining a little to hear him giving himself a little pep talk about self-control, and then I lean over in our little space, reaching for an apple as my stomach growls.

How can you think about eating, my wolf murmurs, sprawled out in my soul in a satisfied daze. We have to strategize – think about how to get him naked. Do you think, if we accidentally spilled the water all over him, that he…

But I smirk, shaking my head, knowing that I’m not going to ruin our only water source in what will be a vain attempt to get my mate naked. I bite into the apple with grim satisfaction, staring into the dark after him, wanting him back right now.

He takes his time, though – time that we both probably need. And as my body unwinds a little bit – god, I hadn’t realize how tense he’d made me – I wonder at myself.

I mean, sexually, I have been so shy with Luca – I’ve made him wait months to barely do more than kiss me in the dream state.

And then here, after thirty minutes with Jackson, I’m ready to just…throw down in the dirt? Let him have all of me, just after a couple of kisses?