Chapter 527

"All right. I just...have very little time alone with you now, Ariel," Luca says, straightening up and slipping his hands into his pockets as he, apparently, adjusts himself to the knowledge that his time-share deal with Jackson is apparently dead. "At least, time without him around. And that's...difficult for me."

"It's difficult for me too," I say quietly, my eyes going a little wide when I see the sadness on his face, hating it. "But...I mean, at school I have very little time for...anything. It's not that I don't want to spend time alone with you, Luca, I just...don't know when that would be."

"Well, do you think we could meet in the dream state more?" he says quietly, taking a hand from his pocket and casting it out in front of him, seeking some medium ground. “We haven't done that in a while and –“

"No," I say instantly, knowing that it's impossible, shaking my head.

Luca's eyes go wide as he stares at me, completely shocked by my answer.

And inside, I know that in terms of giving my mates equal time with me, I'm being completely unfair.

But honestly, the idea of laying physically in bed with Jackson while I meet with Luca in the dream forest, where there's another bed? And do...the things that we do there?

No. I feel, immediately, a little sick at the idea.

Luca, I see, starts to put together the pieces as I do, his mouth falling open a little bit. "So," he sputters out - not so much angry now as feeling incredibly sad, and jealous, and a little betrayed, "Jackson still gets nights and I get...nothing?"

My heart breaks as I feel his emotions coming down the bond, as I see the horrible expression on his face. My mouth opens, my throat clicking a little in my eagerness to say something to make it better - anything - but what -

God, maybe he should have some time in the dreamscape – maybe - maybe I should spend some nights with him instead -

But my wolf nips me again - harder this time - and I physically flinch.

No, she growls, fierce. You tell him the truth. He had no trouble telling you what he wanted, after all, even when it upset you. Now it's your turn.

I slowly close my mouth as I realize that she's...completely right. And while I hated when Luca did that to me...there has to come a time when I tell Luca, honestly, what I really want right now.

"Luca, I'm really sorry if this is hard to hear," I say, pressing both of my hands to my chest as my voice cracks with the terrible emotion that I'm feeling right now, “but...my wolf wants me to spend my nights with Jackson right now."

Luca just gapes at me further, going a little pale.

"I mean," I say, a little desperate to make it better, taking a step towards him, "you and I had so much time in the dream state alone - for months, before Jackson even knew I was his mate! And -"

"Ariel," Luca says, shaking his head from side to side, his own voice tight as he stares at me, willing me to see how this is totally different. I wasn't splitting time then. And I'm not now - but for a totally different reason.

And I stop my words, hanging my head a little and taking a deep breath, working hard to stay steady in my convictions. "I'm sorry, Luca," I say quietly. "This is...what I want right now - what my wolf wants. At least for the foreseeable future. It's what my wolf is telling me is right."

She gives a fierce little yip in my soul, I think attempting to bolster me.noveldrama

Luca drops his head, heaving a deep sigh, raising a hand to cover his eyes. He stays that way for a long moment, shutting down the flow of emotions down our bond, clearly adjusting to this new reality and finding a way to deal with it.

I stand perfectly still, watching him, waiting, desperate. God, I'm not sure if I'm even breathing.

But then Luca heaves a sudden sigh and drops his hand, and stands up straight, and opens his arms to me. "Come here," he whispers.

I close the distance in an instant, my arms wrapping tight around his waist as he folds his around my shoulders, pulling me close, ducking his head so that he rests his cheek against my cap.

"I'm sorry," I whisper into his chest. "I know that this isn't want you wanted."