Chapter 415

"Exactly," Jackson says, nodding solidly as he holds my gaze. "Trust your course, Ariel. An effective military needs people with many branches of expertise. Neumann is requiring you to learn your stuff because that's what he believes you need to know - not military strategy like the rest of us. He will turn you into the spy this nation needs."

"Fine," I sigh, resting my cheek down against his head as he turns his face away from mine, respecting his logic and deciding to just trust the process, as he suggests.

"What about you? You okay?" I whisper, genuinely wanting to know. "Are you like...afraid? Of what's to come?"

"Afraid?" he muses, truly considering it. But then he shakes his head. "No. I've been preparing for war my whole life, Ari. It feels...inevitable. Like this was always coming."

"That's not a reason to not feel afraid," I whisper, my mind wandering as I tighten my arms around him.

"Are you afraid?" he asks, raising a hand to rub slowly over my forearm, up and down, a soft, comforting motion.

"Yes," I whisper, knowing it's no good to lie. Our bond is open again, like it was last night, and he can feel all of my emotions as I have them. “I'm afraid...of losing people. You, my family, my friends. Luca. I...don't think I'm ready for this."

"We won't let that happen," he murmurs, warm and utterly assured.noveldrama

"You can't promise that," I whisper. Not doubting him just...knowing that it's impossible.

Jackson takes a long moment to respond.

"What?" I prompt.

He takes another few seconds to gather his thoughts, and when he speaks, I listen quite closely.

"I'm not particularly religious, Ariel," he says, soft. "I mean, we know that the gods are real - you yourself, bizarrely enough, are proof enough of that. But in general I don't think they care too much about the majority of mortal lives - and I never thought they cared about mine. But after all of this? Of finding you in one of the darkest moments in my life, and then coming here, and finding myself in a war council with the King and all of his advisors?"

Jackson shakes his dark head and I consider him carefully, seeing the situation anew from his eyes.

"It just feels...bigger, Ariel. And it all feels very possible. And I don't think that... that she would have brought all this together if there wasn't some bigger purpose."

"Well, what if that bigger purpose is to win the war?" I whisper, tightening my arms around him, my fear welling up in me again. "And what if the price of that win is...us? Some of us, all of us? A sacrifice, to save the lives and freedoms of many?"

Jackson is still for a moment, but then he turns so that he faces me, slipping an arm around me, raising his other hand to cup my cheek. “No,” he murmurs, quite simply, looking seriously into my eyes. "Goddess plans or not...we're living through this, Ariel. I just got you. I'm keeping you, and you're keeping me." He shrugs, like that's the end of it.

I grin, and decide to believe him, because...well. What's the point, if you don't have faith, and something to fight for?

And Jackson...he's worth fighting for.

So I lean forward, and kiss my mate, and let him wrap me up tight in his arms. A short while later I fall asleep that way too, with Jackson curled up around me, happy and safe and perfectly content.