Chapter 69

Cassie

Back in the house that was meant to be my family home, I finally let myself feel all the emotions that I had been holding back. And I felt all of them. Sadness, rage.. the only one that was missing was happiness.

Glancing around the airy sun filled kitchen I felt tears prickle my eyes. This had never really been my home but I loved this room. I could have been happy living here and I knew it but not now.

Not if Julian was bringing her here.

This would never be my home.

"You look so sad." From her place making some kind of cake to celebrate her princes homecoming Cathy paused. Her eyes on my stricken face. "What's wrong miss Cassie. Are you in pain?" Coming around the kitchen island she rushed towards me on her tiny feet. "Should I call a doctor?"

She was sweet because she was genuinely worried. It didn remind me that I had people who cared about me though and I needed that right now.

"I am a doctor." I reminded her. Taking a sip of the cup of tea she has made me which was now tepid at best. Cathy seemed to think everything could be fixed with a good ole cup of tea and I didn't have the courage to tell her that even the smell of it turned my stomach.

"And anyway what's wrong with me can't be fixed with any doctor." I sighed. Not a medical one anyway. Maybe a psychiatrist would help me find some sense in my jumbled thoughts and feelings. Because I sure as hell couldn't and I kept breaking down and letting the tears fall as well.

Hormones. That's why I was crying all the time. It was my baby hormones.

"You just need to rest and -" Her nostrils flared as she took in a deep breath. "You smell different."

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "It's because I feel sick." It was only half a lie , I was feeling queasy but that had everything to do with the cup of tea sitting on the table in front of me an and nothing to do with actually being ill.

For a second Cathy stared at me, her head cocked to the side. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Of course." The lies just kept coming.

"You should have taken today to rest after your ordeal." Cathy admonished with a smile on her face. "I know that's what the master would have wanted but instead you went off galavanting and came back all exhausted. You should have done as you were told."

"I know." I didn't want to argue with her because I was just too exhausted. "And I'm sorry." Reaching out I squeezed her fingers. "I think I'm going to have an early night though. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not. But you don't want to wait for Julian to come home? He said it would be tonight and I know you are worried about him."

I fought back the urge to laugh at how ridiculous this all was but it was hard. Pushing myself away from the table I looked around again. The setting sun was filling the room with warm golden light and I wanted to remember it this way.

Because I could have been happy here.

I swayed where I stood. Instantly Cathy was there , holding me up by the elbow. "You really aren't well are you? Let's get you to bed so you can rest and I'll tell Julian where you are when he gets home."

I let her help me up the stairs and into Julian's room which was the master bedroom and I didn't have the energy to tell her that I shouldn't sleep there.

"And don't worry about preparing anything for Princes Julian's new guest. I'll have everything arranged and their room ready when they are ready to get out of the hospital."

I froze and stared down at Julian's giant bed. At my side my hand clenched into a fist. Luckily the old house keeper didn't see it.

"Megan." I muttered. "His guest is called Megan." I took a deep breath and held it. "And she won't need a room. She will sleep right here." I chin jerked towards the bed.

Cathy gasped. "No Cassie. You have it all wrong." She shook her head.

"No I don't." I turned to her. "I wish I did but I'm not."

"Julian would never betray the vows he made to you."

Vows? I almost laughed. We hadn't said any vows to each other. Our marriage was a contract. A piece of paper and nothing more.

"He wouldn't do that to you." She sounded like a broken record.

"Megan was carrying his baby. Before the accident."

I watched as all her ideas about her prince were shattered into a million pieces and I hated that I had put that pain in her face.

"You're serious."

"Yes." Taking a deep breath I wrapped my arms around myself. "I'm going to sleep in my room."

"But the wallpaper-"

Ignoring her I walked towards my room. Last night the green wallpaper had been a trigger for me but wallpaper seemed like the least of my concerns right now.

"It's fine." I called over my shoulder. "Good night Cathy and thank you for everything you have done for me."

Not waiting for her reply I closed and locked the door behind me. Falling face down onto my bed the second my knees hit the side of the bed. Something sharp dug into the side of my left breast. Groaning I rolled over to stare at the ceiling. Reaching into my bra I scooped out the key and note that Ian had sneaked to me. I stared at it.

I didn't know what the numbers on the scrap of paper were. Not a phone number so my guess was map coordinates.

But was the key for?

I doubted I had long to find out. Slipping them both into my pillow case I closed my eyes with another groan.

I needed to sleep , tomorrow I would have to deal with my cheating lying husband.