Chapter 13

I sigh and drop my head back on my pillow as I finish my sandwich, curling up tight and pressing my eyes shut, going over every moment of my conversation with Luca in my

head.

Thinking about his handsome face, the way his eyes fell to my mouth, the ran down his spine —

The fact that I did that to him…

This is…

I sigh, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

Because this is getting into some dangerous grounds, isn’t it?

way

the shiver

Some wonderful grounds, my wolf corrects, curling into a little crescent and tucking her nose warmly beneath the edge of her tail. Sneak back over – let’s see if we can make him go all shivery again!

No, I growl inwardly, shaking my head. Because as much as I’m completely distracted and fascinated by my new connections, I have to resist the urge to explore them right now. There’s far too much at stake –

If I let Luca or Jackson in too much, I could get caught and then I risk losing my shot at trying myself in the Academy and I’ll risk having to go home and fulfill my promise to marry Prince Edward. As much as I’m intrigued…

I have to keep my distance. Which means doing my best to avoid my mates during the two weeks of candidacy.

I can do that, right? Mates are forever – I will have time to explore my connections with them later, and right now I need to turn my mind to other things.

I can do this, I tell myself with a steady nod, my eyes still pressed shut.

No you can’t, my wolf sighs sleepily, closing her eyes.

But I just ignore her, determined, and steady my breathing, willing myself to fall asleep.

When a hand shakes my arm the next morning, I gasp awake out of a much–needed deep.

in

dreamless sleep.

“Morning, Shrimp,” Jesse says quietly, grinning down at me from his perch on the side of my bed. “Time to get up!”

“What?” I mutter, confused because it’s so quiet. Usually the mornings here are a mess of noise, all the candidates getting ready at once. I sit up and look around, realizing that everyone’s still in bed. So…

“Come on,” he whispers, hopping silently down from the side of the bed. “We’re going for a walk and a chat.”

“Oh god,” I sigh, but I pull my blankets off and hop down softly, taking note of the single finger pressed to Jesse’s lips as he glances towards the still–sleeping Rafe. I grimace, realizing that if we’re going without my brother…

There’s only one thing we’re going to be talking about.

I groan, pulling on my boots and quickly lacing them before Jesse and I sneak quietly to the bathroom for our morning ablutions and then out the door of the barracks. As we pass my bunk I smile at my brother’s sleeping form, grateful again that he’s a good sleeper.

But then again, in our big crazy family there wasn’t much choice but to be able to sleep through a great deal of noise.

Jesse pushes open the door to the barracks and slips a friendly arm around my shoulders as we walk out into the dawn light, the fresh morning air bracing as the door shuts behind us. But as we start to walk, I glance back at it.

“Why aren’t there any guards?” I ask, confused. “Like, why are we able to just walk in and out of this place?”

“Because,” Jesse says, looking around happily at the pretty morning as we start out on a dirt track that leads towards the hills. “Candidates are all here voluntarily and they’re all determined to hold themselves to the rules. Because the school is going to cut the bottom 20% anyway, there’s no reason to stop candidates who want to take themselves out of the running.”

“So we can just come and go at will?” I ask.

He looks down at me and shrugs. “Some cadets like to go for an early morning run. Which is what we’re doing.” He gives me a wink and a little squeeze around the shoulders before dropping his arm and starting to stretch. “Ready?”

My jaw drops open before I scowl at him. “You said walk!”

“I lied,” he says, grinning at me and starting off on the track at a gentle jog. “Come on! You need to keep up!”

I groan, desperately wishing I at least had some coffee before this, and then I hurry to catch up with my cousin, who I know is only doing this for my benefit anyway. I really do need to get faster.

Jesse and I jog in silence for a long while as he puts me through my paces, making me stay by his side until I’m panting for air while he, infuriatingly, barely breaks a sweat. When we get to the top of a hill he signals to me to take a break and I put my hands on my knees, catching my breath.

“Why are you so much fitter than me,” I gasp, glaring at him. “I do…ballet. I do sports!”

He grins at me and laughs a little. “You have hobbies, Ari. Dad and Uncle Dom have been prepping Rafe and I for this since we were kids.” He takes a deep breath, looking out over the gorgeous, hazy countryside with a smile. I follow his gaze as my breathing comes easier, likewise admiring the way that the hills roll and the early–morning clouds settle low over them.

“That’s such crap, you know.” I say, crossing my arms and shaking my head, aware that my angry thoughts are in contrast to such a beautiful landscape. “I hate that you and Rafe got to become bastions of athletic prowess and I got to train to be a perfect wife and Queen.” I cross my arms, bitter as I stare out at the beautiful view. “A whole lot of good it did me, in the end.”

“No one forced you into that engagement, Ari,” Jesse says gently, letting me have my bitterness while still pointing out the truth. “That was all you. Mom was pissed as hell when Aunt Ella let you move forward with it.”

“Really?” I ask, my eyes wide.

He nods and smiles at me. “Yeah, she said that she had seen your future at your moonlight baptism and that guy was not your mate – so why the hell would we let you go into a marriage that we knew

would fail? But Aunt Ella said you had to be free to make your own choices.”

I turn my head to stare at him, baffled by this. “So, you knew the whole time too? And wait – they had this conversation in front of you!?”

He laughs a little and runs his hand through his hair. “I may have been eavesdropping. Just

a little bit.” noveldrama

“Jesse!” I shout, reaching out to smack him but laughing as I do. Jesse – he’s always been good at being sneaky.

“But seriously, Ari,” Jesse says after he dodges my hand, still smiling at me. “You trained your whole life to be a Queen, and it didn’t work out in that way, but the fact that your mate is here? Training for the Academy at the same time you are?” he shrugs and grins at me, a little baffled. “Honestly, I think it sounds a little bit like fate – like you’re meant to be here.”

“I know,” I whisper, nodding with him. “It feels like…grandma has a hand in it.”

He laughs, shaking his head a little at our inside joke of calling an all–powerful moon goddess “grandma.”

“But Ariel,” Jesse says, and I turn to him, a little surprised to hear him use my full name in such serious tones. I raise my eyebrows, inviting him to say what he wants to say.

Jesse sighs and puts a warm hand on my shoulder. “I get that you’re a big girl now, and that I have no right to tell you what to do, and that you’ve already got an overprotective big brother to play this role. But…” he hesitates and I step closer, wanting to hear what he has to say. “Just…maybe give this whole mate thing a little breathing room, yeah?”

“Why?” I ask, a little confused.

“Well, your mate – he hasn’t figured out who you are yet, right?“.

Slowly, I nod.

“Maybe…” Jesse says, shrugging, “let it stay that way for a while – just until you learn more about him. I mean, I’m sure he’s great, but…”

“Just say it, Jesse,” I say, frowning at him.

“Ariel,” he sighs, shaking his head at me. “In your life you’ve only really spent time with men who really respect women and admire their mates. You’ve been a little bit sheltered, which is not a bad thing, but…not all men are like that.”

“Yeah,” I say, nodding and raising my eyebrows at him. “I learned that when I heard my fiancé’s secret conversation with his dad – and thank god I did.”

“I know,” Jesse huffs, looking off into the distance with a grimace as he, too, remembers what I dodged. “But see how easy it was to miss that? It’s just…not all guys are good to

women – so many were raised to believe that women were born to serve them, or to be their second mom, or that women are inherently inferior. And a mate? He’s going to feel… so possessive over you, Ariel, from the start. I think, for you, I just want…”

“A little time,” I say, finishing his thought for him, as I so frequently do.

“Yeah,” he replies, turning to me with a little sad smile. “Time for you to figure out who this guy is and how you feel about him, before all this mate stuff gets in the mix as well. And for you to figure out if you actually want to like…date him. Let alone be mated to him.”

I laugh at this, shaking my head. Because Jesse’s right – I’ve never even had a boyfriend, let alone a mate. Let alone two mates. How on earth am I going to juggle all of this?

“I think I want to just concentrate on getting into the Academy,” I say quietly, stepping close to my cousin and resting my head on his shoulder.

“I honestly think that’s a good plan,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around me and giving me a little squeeze. “I think you’re here for a reason, Ari – and I don’t think it’s just to meet your mate.”

“I feel that way too,” I say with a confused frown know. And I’m glad you have my back.”

—

and honestly, it’s true. “But I’m glad you

“Always, little Shrimp,” he murmurs with a happy sigh. After a long pause he speaks again. “Now. Are you going to tell me who this mate is?”

“Nope,” I say, a little smirk pulling at my own lips now. “I get to keep some mysteries to myself, don’t I?”

“Boo!” Jesse says, laughing and shoving away from me. “And now, just for that, I’m going to kick your ass double–time on this run back to the barracks so that we can make it for breakfast.”

“Nooo,” I moan, tipping my head back.

“Come on!” he whoops, starting down the hill at a full run. “Let’s raise that ranking, Shrimp! Plus, I heard there’s pancakes in the breakfast line today.”

“Damn it,” I hiss, shaking my head, and my stomach growls because damn it… I want those pancakes. And so I take a deep breath before I start to sprint after him.