Chapter 0363

My heart sinks at the thought of it, of Jackson seeing..that.

Because he's not wrong-last night was incredibly important for Luca and I. Our bond now - it's deeper than it was before, stronger and more significant. And he's not wrong - Luca and I presented our relationship to the nation last night to the world. And even though I have no idea what it looked like from an outsider's standpoint or on television...

I do know that we came across as a strong couple, dedicated and powerful. A perfect match. How could we have presented as anything else, when so much of that is the truth?

But still...while the rest of the nation may have celebrated that - their champion paired up with their Princess - how did it look to Jacks?

"Tell me," I murmur, leaning close and reaching for his face, cupping his cheek in my palm. Jackson leans into it, closing his eyes as he speaks.

"I went to the restaurant, like I said, with the guys I used to live with. It was...fine. It was good to see them, I guess."noveldrama

I smile a little, because Jackson has friends - friends outside of me and my family, even if he didn't know to count them as such. He cracks his eyes open and laughs a little, shaking his head at me. "Would you come down here?" he murmurs, tugging me close again and turning so that we're face-to-face again. "It's harder to tell when you're looming over me like an owl." "Yes, fine, I'll look up at you like an adoring little mouse," I murmur, pleased that he wants to be more casual about it. Because if he's more casual, it means he's not devastated. Right? "Okay, little mouse," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my forehead before continuing on. "The whole thing was...fine, for a while. The television showed some screen shots and concentrated on you and your family for a bit - and I liked that."

"You did?" I ask, smiling a little.

"Sure," he says, nodding. "I knew the people on the TV. The guys I was with knew I'd been at the Academy, asked if I knew Rafe and Jesse. I said...a little bit."

I burst out laughing at the understatement here, considering that he's now basically part of the family.

"It felt like I had a secret," Jackson murmurs, still smiling a little. But that fades away when he moves on. "It was....harder. When Luca came out. And then he pointed to you in the crowd, and kissed his glove and held it out to you? And you...smiled like that?"

Jackson exhales all in a woosh, and my stomach sinks with guilt. I'm devastated, suddenly, to have put him through that.

God, what was I thinking? He told me he'd be watching-

"Don't," Jackson murmurs, and my eyes flick back to him. I frown a little - I hadn't even realized that I'd looked away. Softly, he strokes my face. "Don't feel guilty, Ariel. That's not... I'm not trying to make you feel bad."

"I know," I whisper, nodding. "And you should be able to tell me your experiences without worrying about how they make me feel."

He smirks at me, still stroking my cheek. "It's going to be hard sometimes. But I don't...want to keep anything back. I want to tell you the truth, all the time. Is that okay?"

Inod, meaning it, even if it means that it will hurt sometimes. Somehow, it feels the only way through. "Keep going," I whisper.

"The end was...really hard," Jackson says. "The whole bar was on its feet, shouting at the TV, and even the restaurant patrons came over to watch. When Luca went down, I didn't think they could scream any louder. But when you jumped out of the stands? God, the room exploded with cheers, and I thought I was never going to breathe again. The way your pounded on the mat? And called his name? And then he responded, and got up, and won, and it was clearly all because of you?"

Jackson exhales again and rolls away from me for a moment, covering his face briefly with his hand.

"Jacks," I say, even though...well, there's no meaning behind it. I slip my hand out, placing it solidly on his chest, wanting him to feel the corporeal reality of me right now.

Because I'm here. Right here. With him.

He feels the emotions behind my thoughts and turns his head back to me, nodding. "When you're here, Ariel? With me, and I can hold you and look at you? Everything feels different- makes sense, feels possible. It's only when I see you with him - see..well, see how much you love him..."