Chapter 9

I've been sat here for quite some time now I hope Dr Khan isn't going to be much longer, feeling my nerves building up. I don't hate hospitals, I just hate the smell, a mixture of blood, disease and disinfectant is enough to make anyone sick. The last time I was here was just under a year ago for a check up which was what everyone had, the Alpha and Luna cared for each and everyone of their pack members and always treated everyone fairly even me. The only other person whos always been there is Roman so I'm guessing he's the reason I'm stuck here. "I wish you never told the Alpha how tired I've been I told you I just needed a good meal and some sleep and I'd be fine, now I'm stuck sitting here with nothing wrong with me wasting their time" sending him a frustrated mind link.

"Amelia" Dr Khan as smiley as ever "please come I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long I've had a few matters to attend to" I walk in nervously "don't be so nervous take a seat and we'll have a chat about whats going on" " Sorry If you feel I am wasting your time but I don't feel like I need to be here" " and why is it you feel that way?" "I feel fine today I've got a full stomach and as bright as ever." " so be honest with me here are you or are you not getting episodes which you have extreme exhaustion and falling asleep in completely random places?" looking at me puzzled. "I have been tired, I don't recall sleeping just anywhere only my sofa and bed but I've been working alot, and don't really get to eat that often so once I'd had a good meal and some rest I feel as good as new." "interesting when did all this start? and as for sleeping anywhere we have cctv so yes you have been randomly going to sleep" "around 2 nights ago after working the bunker" "since your coming of age in around a week, I'd like to think it's linked to that with you being so small." "so I'm completely normal" "yes to a certain degree but this wouldn't be coming and going like yours or sending you to sleep with out you knowing it's happening, was there anything different about your shift like meet anyone or events?" "not really no but I did meet one guy in which I get images through my head and then they disappear again, I feel no attraction towards him even if he is gorgeous but still nothing."

With that I feel it, it's coming over me again the dr looks at me puzzled but asks for some blood samples and and all my vitals all check. "Right Amelia I think I have all the things I need for now but I'm still not sure what this is. It's a possibility your bodies way of developing but I'm not entirely convinced as I've never come across this in all my time in practice. When I have some answers I will inform  you and the alpha." "What should I do in the mean time, I have duties" I asked nervously "rest when you can and try to avoid anything strenuous that will would be depleting your energy further" advising me "but what about my gymnastics and letting my wolf out for a run, these are the things that I would consider non negotiable" making it plain I had no intention of giving these up while I wait "you can but limit the frequency and length of time for now until we know more if you could please it's important you rest and eat plenty before and after to be clear I will inform the Alpha and Luna to monitor these too" I nod in agreement knowing there's no way out of that. "thank you for your time Dr" say in defeat, he smiles warmly as I exit the room.

Heading back to my room thoughts start filling my head, why me, I am smaller, I am weaker, I am nobody, Jasper is right I'm worthless letting the tears just fall uncontrollably. As I return to my room Tara trying her best to comfort me spreading warmth through my body. "You will understand one day just how special you are," my breathing getting heavier, she's trying her best but she knows she can't convince me, giving me the strength to try any snap myself out of it. I whisper "I don't deserve anyone" sobbing harder than before. I don't know how long it lasted but I feel my body getting heavy and breathing calming I find myself falling asleep.

knock knock⁴ I spring up in suprise, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Amelia, you missed dinner I was told to bring food up to you" Roman looking cautiously as he laid the food on the table. "Amelia are you okay? you've been crying" I nod gently "I'm just tired, I've been overwhelmed the last few days." almost begging not to continue the conversation. "Amelia I wasn't happy with the link you sent me, I have don't nothing of the sort and never would, it would be a betrayal of your trust even if I am glad you went to the Dr." "Well how else would the alpha find out about my exhaustion?" shrugging his shoulders clueless, "apparently they also have footage of me falling asleep in random places" "maybe thats how they knew you were so exhausted". "maybe but the dr thinks it could be my body trying to strengthen and prepare for my mate seen as I'm so small" frowning at my own words. "Let's get away from all this talk I'll warm your dinner and you can eat while I put the movie we are yet to finish back on and just enjoy eachothers company"

The last few days I've been trying to rest in between duties although they ensured I was on lighter duties to reduce the chances of depleting my energy. Still having no answers as what is actually going on, it's 4 days until my birthday, with no plans, no friends, nothing just me, myself and I. Roman also being caught up alot lately with training and so forth it's been lonely to say the least.

Amelia could you come to my office please. Finally I might have some answers as to why I keep getting so exhausted although now I have realised it is only when I start thinking about Mr hottie from the bunker that night or me mating. Roman actually starting to stray from my thoughts, leaving me confused and insecure as to what I'm going to do about this situation. I sigh and head up to the office hopefully with some insight.

"Amelia come in and take a seat." Alpha being very formal, which already made me tense up. "The Dr has infact said your body is preparing for a mate which is good news, your body is just strengthening so you'll be glad to know you are perfectly healthy." "Thank you alpha" with a large grin sweeping across my face. "Your welcome, but I have made note that Roman has been skipping training, slacking when he does train and become quite disobedient towards his trainers. This I am informed is due to you, you know I do not tolerate distractions to my warriors they have their duty as do you, you are also aware I don't tolerate being deceived." "I havnt seen or spoke to him since the dinner Luna ordered him to bring to me" "your going to sit here and lie to my face now I have the evidence I don't need you to tell me what you have and haven't been doing"  Alpha Ryder's anger becoming apparent. "Currently you are worthless to thill pack and have never really belonged here, I have supported you, fed you, clothed you and this is the repayment I get. So now you are being thrown out of this pack to find yourself another life maybe someone else will take pitty on you I'm sure as hell not but someone may be fooled" the words piercing my ears, "I don't understand I've done nothing wrong" "enough, you have an hour to leave this pack and never look back."  I didn't do anything I have nowhere to go no one to turn to, im getting blamed for something I didn't do, I'm sure as hell I didn't do anything to deserve this, tears begin to fall as I exit the room.

Tears fell uncontrollably back at my room, come on Amelia you can get through this, you'll have a better life away from here. I pull, myself together and pack up my essentials, left the key on the coffee table left a note for Roman saying goodbye. I don't know what was driving me angry or despair I can't work out which but something was. I needed to get out of here but no where to go. Closing packhouse door behind me and head for the treeline. I look over at the pack in which I called home wiping away my final tears. Time to find a new life.

"Come on Tara it's time to let go. I'm with you all the way."