Chapter 215

Cassie

He wasn't in my bedroom by the time I had showered and dressed again and I let out a sigh of relief.

What had just happened was a massive mistake. Yes I had wanted him, I still did but I wasn't stupid enough to think a roll in the sack changed anything.

It didn't.

He was still seeing Megan and even if he wasn't. Even if he had finally kicked her to the curb it didn't make any difference. He had still lied to me.

My relief was short lived. The moment I left my room I could still smell him. Which meant he hadn't left, he had just gone downstairs. Following his scent I found him in the living room. Completely relaxed with his bare feet propped up on the table.

"Julian what are you doing?" Hands on my hips I waited for him to turn the tv off and turn to me.

He didn't do either of those things.

"You  can't just let yourself in and make yourself at home, Julian." My temper was rising and it was making my voice rise. If I wasn't careful I would be shouting soon and then the rumours would really start.

"This is my home."

"That I own." He said with his eyes glued to the screen.

I groaned. "That's not fair Julian."

Slowly he leant forward and turned off the tv. "Do you know what isn't fair,Cassie?" He turned to me. His eyes met mine and glued me to the stop. "Kissing me, making love to me and then telling me it didn't mean anything." He jutted out his chin. "That isn't fair."

"Oh please." I rolled my eyes. "Like you weren't in my bedroom for that reason? You came on to me. Not the other way around." Moving into the room I fell onto the sofa opposite him. "Should I have told you to leave? Yes, probably but I'm not going to pretend it was something it wasn't." I sighed. "It was just sex. A little stress relief." I gave a small shrug.

Julian's eyes bugged out of his head. "Just stress relief?" He asked through gritted teeth. His voice shook with emotion.

"Yes."

"Maybe to you that's all it was but nothing about you is ever stress relief Cassie." With a shake of his dark head he reached for the remote and turned the tv back on.

I let out a grumbled sigh. "What are you doing now?"

"I am watching tv until the boys get home."

At my side my hands balled into fists. Counting to ten I took a deep breath and let it out but it did nothing to calm me on the insides.

"This is my weekend." I ground out.

"I don't care anymore. We are their parents and we will not be sharing their time anymore. So tonight when they come home, we will bathe them together and when they are ready for bed and have got their excitement out of the way because we are both here." His eyes met mine and seemed to dare me to argue back with him. That's what he wanted. For me to argue. So I wasn't going to give him that. I kept my lips locked shut and just stared at him.

"Then I'll phone us  a take away. Something we can eat together and watch movies. Like we did before the party when things were perfect."

"Recreating the past doesn't change anything. It won't make us a family again Julian."

Steadily he stared at me. "It's a start because things will go back to that level of perfection again."

My anger exploded out of my chest. Jumping to my feet I launched myself at him.  "It wasn't perfect, Julian it was a

Lie." Swinging my arm back I tried to slap him. Only he caught my hand easily and pulled me into his lap.

"It wasn't a lie." His voice was ragged as he moved my wet hair out of his way and kissed my neck. "I love you and this foolishness ends now." His teeth bit down. Hard enough for me to cry out but not hard enough to break the skin.

"You can hate me Cassie." He said against my throat. His breath was hot. "But that doesn't change anything. You are my life and I refuse to live without you." Gripping my hair in his giant hand and yanked my head back. Forcing me to stare into his eyes.

My breath quickened in my chest.

"So we aren't going to be apart any longer. We will be a family. And the sooner you get used to that the better. Just say you forgive me and we will be able to move on with our lives."

I stared at him with my mouth open. He sounded like a crazy person. He was a crazy person.

"Maybe I don't love you anymore."

In answer he chuckled. Pressing his hand over my heart he closed his eyes.

"You stink of that lie, Cassie." He said in a whisper. "You reek of it. Try telling it again  when your heart doesn't beat in time with mine. When your heart doesn't sing out for me and your body doesn't crave mine inside of you."

"I hate you."

Again he laughed. "Keep telling yourself that my love because I don't believe you. We will be a family again. We will live together again. There will be no other man for you but me. I am your-"

"Maybe I don't want that."

He levelled his eyes on me. "Maybe I don't care what you want anymore Cassie. For years I watched you sleep and begged you to wake up. Do you think I would ever let you escape now?" Roughly he brought his lips down on mine. Forcing them open with a groan.

And it took everything I had not to melt into him. He was offering me everything I wanted but it wasn't enough. As long as Megan was in his life it would never be enough.

"Please Julian. I can't do this. Loving you will kill me."

He shook his head. "Then we will die together. Now try and look pleased. The boys won't understand if you aren't happy."

Then we will die together. His words echoed through my head.

I'd already died for him once. How many more times would I need to go through this?