Chapter 739

"So!?" I say, leaning forward in turn and matching his tone, my hand still clamped to the wound on my neck.

"So - so we had sex!" Luca shouts, baffled and freaked out and afraid. "So - you picked me! You picked me, Ariel! I gave you my mark because you picked me!"

I go perfectly still as I stare at Luca, my mouth slightly open.

Because that...that is not at all what happened.

I mean, we just had sex - we had a horrible few days, and had a bunch to drink, and we took refuge in each other –

And I love Luca desperately, but I did not choose him.

"Luca," I say, quite slow, "I did not pick you. I am not rejecting Jackson. We just had sex -"

“It's the same thing!" he roars, staring at me like I'm insane, or that he might be going insane, or that the world itself is broken and horrible and he's somehow just lost in it.

Luca snarls and shoves himself up from the bed, grabbing his underwear and hastily pulling them on before striding away from me, his hands getting lost in his hair as he turns his back to me, attempting to put the shattered pieces of his reality back together.

I start to cry again, gathering the blankets to my chest and looking down at my shaking hands. Because even if Luca and I greatly misunderstood what was happening today, I see his side of it - I see what he means. He thought that breaking the stupid sex pact was not just us having sex, but me fulfilling the terms of it: choosing him, deciding to reject Jackson, wanting his mark.

And that may have even been the wording - god, I don't even remember - that I wouldn't have sex with one of them until I'd decided.

But so - so much has happened since then - so much has grown and changed -

"This was supposed to be special for me too, you know," Luca snaps, turning back towards me suddenly and drawing my eyes up to him. "A man only gets one chance to mark his mate. I never precisely imagined that the moment I did it that you'd say 'no' and shove me away and start crying."

I hang my head and sniff hard then, because he's right. It shouldn't have been this way for either of us.

"You should have asked me," I

and

whisper, shaking my head and starting to tremble, grief hitting me again foreverything that has been lost and ruined in these past few days. I tried to escape it, to run from it, but god...god, I've just made it worse.

"Asked you?" Luca asks, a nasty tone in his voice now. "Why, because that's what he would have done?"

"Why are you being like this?" I cry out, turning my head back up to him, my lower lip trembling in my agony. "Why are you even talking about Jackson - this is about us -"

“It's never just about us,” Luca snarls, glaring at me like he hates me. His wolf snarls in my soul, prowling towards mine. "It's always about him – he's always there - between us - ruining this -"

"That's not what it's like Jackson would never do that -"noveldrama

"Well then maybe you should have slept with him, Ariel!" Luca shouts, vicious. "If he always does everything right and he's so fucking perfect, maybe you should have had your first time with him! And then everything would have been great!"

I just stare at Luca, dread coiling within me, and slowly close my mouth.

Silence echoes in the room between us as Luca reads my reaction.

His face again pales, and his shoulders drop, his hands falling limp at his side.

I clench my jaw and raise my chin, refusing to apologize for it.

Because it was — it was perfect. I wouldn't have wanted to lose my virginity any other way than on a soft, quiet afternoon in my bed with a man who loves me very, very much. And as much as it breaks Luca's heart, I'm not going to be ashamed of it.

“Oh...oh my god..." Luca murmurs, gaping at me, unblinking. And then he moans, and covers his face with his hands and turns away.