Chapter 765

Jackson and I each take a moment to clean up, brushing our teeth and splashing water on our faces, before we return to the nook - the place where we feel most secure. But I push the curtain back, letting the pre-dawn light stream in. Because that feels right, feels better.

"So," Jackson murmurs, wrapping his long arms loosely around his knees as he leans back against the pillows. "Where do you want to start?"

I bite my lip, wondering at it, but also...distracted. Distracted by the sheer physical presence of my mate, sitting there across from me in our bed, all gorgeous and understanding and willing to hear every bit of what I have to say. Almost despite my resolve to be stoic and serious, my eyes move away from his face and down his form, taking in the beautiful way that his body has been crafted, honed, over years of punching stuff and running and whatever else it is these warrior-types do. My wolf shifts from paw to paw, giving me a nudge, telling me to go to him to touch him -

But -

I hesitate, knowing where that got me last time. With Luca. Giving in to impulse and attraction is...not always the best choice.

When I raise my eyes again to Jackson's face, I see that his jaw is tight, his teeth clenched as he senses the direction of my thoughts. To that day, with Luca. And all the things that lead to being marked, if not the marking and the rejection itself.noveldrama

"Did you want it?" Jackson asks, his voice tight. I can almost feel the tension over every muscle in his body.

I exhale slowly and hold his gaze. "I wanted to sleep with him. But I didn't want the mark. Not yet."

And then I tell him everything. I soften, where I can, the information that he doesn't necessarily need - about how attracted I was to Luca, and precisely how much it hurt when his wolf attacked and he rejected me. These things, I sense, he doesn't need the details of. But beyond that I tell him everything, wanting things to be an open book between us, wanting him to have it all.

And when I finish, Jackson tells me

his side of the story. What it was like to have a Cadet burst into his and Rafe's meeting with the Captain and tell Rafe he was desperately needed, and then seeing me there in the hall. en seeing His own pain and confusion has me weeping as silently as I can, not wanting to stop him from the story but unable to hold it back. But my mouth falls open when Jackson gives me the details about Luca - about chasing him down, and their fight, and then letting him go even though he left the Castle intending to kill.

"Oh, Jacks," I say, pressing my hands to my chest and shaking my head at him. "I'm so sorry. I - I've been so bad and unfair, through all of this."

He just frowns at me. "You've done what you had to do, Ariel. Your grandmother gave you two mates. Who the hell am I to do anything but try to deal with my jealousy in the face of a divine gift like that?"

I shake my head. "But I agreed - I told you both I'd choose one of you - Luca was right when he pointed

out that I said I wouldn't sleep with either of you before I made my choice - and I broke that -"

"That was a shit place to put you in in the first place," Jacks murmurs, his head hanging a little. "We both...Ariel, as the weeks passed it was becoming increasingly obvious that a choice was going to be е impossible. That Luca and Were just going to have to...deal with it. Find a way to live with each other."

I gape at him. "Is that.....is that seriously where your heart was?"

He raises his eyes to look at me. "Was being the important word here, Ariel. I wouldn't share you with that jackass now for the world - he - ke fucking deliberately put you in danger- he knows there are. potentially others in this Castle who were trying to hurt you and he left you naked and alone with an open door -"

His words get angrier and angrier as they fall from his lips and I lean forward, putting a hand on his knee, stopping the tirade.

Nearly shaking with rage at the memory, Jacks takes a deep breath and nods to me, letting me know he's got it back under control.

"But yes, before that?" he shrugs. "I was... finding a way. I don't know. It felt right. Luca was...frustrating and difficult. I'd have rather shared you with someone like Tony, who was cooler and nicer and I think quite a wide margin smarter than Grant -"