Chapter 121

Julian

I had attacked her in the worst way possible and the guilt of it ripped me up inside. She forgave me, she had told me that much but I didn't forgive myself. I probably never would.

From my place behind the huge desk, I watched her as she moved around the room. Her hips swaying as she rocked the baby in her arms to sleep. Now and then her soft voice sang a little lullaby to them. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. This was the real Cassie. The soft side that I had refused to see when we were first married. Goddess I had been blind. So very blind.

I could see now and she was all I could see. Now she blinded me in a completely different way.

"Which twin is that?" I asked softly and instantly regretted it. Talking to her broke the spell. She turned to me with a frown. A line appearing between her eyebrows. "Niall." She said softly. "Would you like to hold him?" She asked softly but I could tell by her face that she already knew the answer was no.

Even though I was up and out of bed now. I had yet to hold my children. I was still weak and shaky or that was the excuse I kept giving anyway but truthfully I couldn't stand to touch them.

Not after what I had done to their mum. Or tried to do anyway. I wouldn't sully their innocence by touching them with the hands of a rapist.

I shook my head silently and turned my face away.

"You didn't rape me Julian." Bending down she placed my son next to his brother and came to stand against my knees. "You have to stop thinking like that."

I glanced up at her in shock. "I didn't say-"

"You didn't need to." Reaching down she cupped my cheek, and lifted my head to face her. The smallest of smiles curved up the corners of her lips. "You're face is screaming the guilt." Her eyes softened. "You have nothing to feel guilty about. You didn't do anything." She reminded me.

"Because Ian stopped me." I tore my face away from hers and stared off into the distance. "If he hadn't-" I trailed off chewing on my lip. "He is a better mate that I am for you. He protects you. I should-"

Clamping her hand over my mouth Cassies eyes flashed as she climbed over my lap. Her legs straddling mine. "No." She snapped. "Get that thought out of your head. Ian is my friend. He is your friend and he is loyal." She lowered her chin to my hair. And I could feel her breath against my scalp as she sighed. "You and me-" she began to say when Ian appeared. Almost guiltily she scrambled off and I missed the feel of her weight against my legs. It took everything I had not to drag her back on top of me. Because I missed her so much. Of course I couldn't do that. Being forceful was what had me feel so guilty.

I dropped my hands to my side.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Ian raised an eyebrow.

"No." I hissed back. "Nothing." I couldn't even look at either of them. I didn't know why.

"So not another make out session?" Ian chuckled but I didn't find it funny at all. "I'm kind of glad." He carried on before I could answer him. "Because we need to leave."

In front of me, Cassies head snapped up. "What? Now?"

"Within the hour." Ian turned and went to the back wall bookcase. He began moving things without saying a word. "Prepare yourselves." He called out over his shoulder.

"What's happened?" I asked and by the look on Cassies face she had been about to ask the same thing. Ian didn't answer at first he continued to pull things from the shelves.

"Ian?" I snapped.

With a grumble he turned to me. "Can't you just trust me?" He asked even though he already knew the answer. "I have heard whispers." He admitted.

"I thought you were clearing a way out?" Cassie asked and there was so much judgement in her voice that I blinked at her in shock.

My wife still had a back bone. I was kind of glad about that. I liked her feisty side.

"The tunnel is clear. But that doesn't mean I'm deaf." Ian snapped right back. For a second Cassie looked taken aback.

"I know that but-"

"Duncan is going to crown himself king, today." Sighing Ian turned back to us fully. "Maybe tomorrow. For all I know it's happening now but -" he sucked in a breath.

I bolted upright, ignoring the pain in my joints. "Duncan? What does Duncan have to do with this?"

"Him and Megan have been working together. He killed-" Cassie turned away

"He killed Cathy." Ian finished for me. "He's actually executed over fifty people since then. And from I heard the traitor king is next. His mistress has already fled."

Cassie stiffened. "I always hated her." She admitted softly. "But I'm glad she has run. I wouldn want her or her unborn child to come to any harm."

I stared at her for a second and then shook my head. She was a better person than I was.

"Duncan?" I whispered. That was why the man in the suit had looked so familiar. Because I knew him. It had been decades since I had seen him but it had been Duncan. No wonder he had enjoyed my torture so much, Duncan hated me. Hated my family and was now trying to take everything I loved from me. Knowing my enemy didn't make things easier for us , it made things worse because I knew Duncan. And I knew what he was capable of. If he took the throne and the crown then my wolves were in serious trouble.

"We can't be here when he takes power." Ian walked towards us, holding up something that looked like scraps of material in his hands.

"I won't abandon my people." I muttered. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't.

Ian's eyes met mine unblinking. "That is your choice Julian but I am getting your wife and your heirs out of here. I am going to protect your family and then I will protect mine."

I frowned. What did he mean protect his? Did Ian even have a family?

"You can stay and die if you want." He continued as he motioned Cassie forward. "And don't doubt for a second that you will die. Or you can help do you duty and live to fight another day. You know what Duncan will do if he finds Cassie and the boys here.  But you are my king-"

I swallowed hard. "How are we going to -"

Ian's lips twitched. "How am I going to carry two newborns and you from here?" Throwing his head back he laughed. "With a sling." He lifted up the scraps of material. "Cassie will carry the twins in this. I will help you. I can drop you if I need to fight." His eyes twinkled. "Wouldn't be the first time recently, I've put you on your ass your highness." The laughter died on his lips. "Now will you get your shit together so we can leave."