Chapter 192

Cassie

The world even smelt different. I hadn't noticed it so much in the hospital. I was used to those sterile smells but outside? That was different and in a way wrong.

I was used to the pine scent of Scarlets forest or the musty confines of the secret passage ways of the palace. Those weren't real places and the longer I was awake the more it was easier to accept that.

This was real.

Even if it did feel and smell wrong.

"Are you ok?" Pausing , Julian reached down and touched my shoulder.

Twisting in the wheelchair I nodded but I didn't say anything. I could walk but not far and the wheelchair was still the safest way to get me around.

Todays excision was into the hospital gardens now the sun was shining. It was the first time I had been outside in over five years.

The first time being with Julian for that long as well and I didn't know what to say to him.

"Cassie?" His fingers squeezed my shoulder. "Are you ok? Do you want to go back inside. I don't want you to be overwhelmed."

He was saying and doing all the right things. He had been for the last week since I had woken up but I couldn't seem to feel comfortable around him.

But maybe that had something to do with Megan still being around.

"No." I said tersely. "I'm fine. It's just a little much."

One final squeeze of my bony shoulder and we were moving again. If anyone noticed that a king was among them , no one said anything. Even though most of the people who passed us were shifters in some form or another.

Maybe that were just used to him being around now. I didn't know.

Glancing left and right I frowned. "Which hospital is this?"

"It's called the Queen Memorial." He said as he pushed me along the level path and towards a small patch of grass and trees in the distance.  "It was built and named after you?"

"You built a hospital for me?" I asked in wonder.

"Yes." He bumped me down the curb and onto the grass. Finally coming to a stop next to a bench. "But it's for all the paranormal community as well. We have the best medical shifter minds here. Even your friend Forrest."

I swallowed hard. "Forrest is here?"

"Not right now no, he's doing some aid work abroad. I've sent him word though." Julian sat down heavily. Reaching out he took my hands in his.

"Thank you." I whispered. "Does that mean you and him are friends?"

Throwing back his head Julian laughed. "Not hardly but we have learnt to tolerate each other because we both care about you." His thumb brushed back and forth over the backs of my hands. "You do know that right? that I care about you?"

I didn't answer him. "Things have changed so much and yet they seem pretty much the same." I said finally meeting his eyes. "Megan is still around even though she killed you."

Julian did a double take but quickly shook the shock away. "That Megan isn't real, Cassie." He said softly. "That was in your dream. The rebellion , all of it. It's not real life. I am king and you are my queen. Our sons are safe because there are no more threats. We finally have a chance to be happy and build the life that we have always wanted." He drew one of my hands up and kissed the back of it.

A rush of need flowed through me, of love and belonging.

"With Megan."

He dropped my hand like I had burnt him. Sitting back heavily against the back of the bench he studied me. A note of anger on his face. "You have to get over this whole Megan thing, Cassie."

Stony faced, I stared at him.

With a sigh he ran his hand through his hair. "She's a changed woman. She came clean and she's been working so hard to make things right. For all of us. She has been a good friend over the years. Both to me and the boys."

I felt sick to think of her near my husband but I was used to that. Nothing had changed in five years in that regard but the thought of her being near my children was enough to cause my heart to start to thunder in my chest.

Megan couldn't be trusted. Not back then and not now.

"Friend." I mumbled.

"Yes." He made a rush to grab hold of my hands again , only this time I moved them out of his reach.

"Cassie, please don't do this. You are my wife."

I had so much to say. That he should have thought about that in the beginning , that maybe he should think about that now. I couldn't go through the rest of my life sharing him with another woman. Even one he now claimed was a friend. Not after everything she had done.

"Please just come home so we can build a life together and raise our children. Together. The four of us."

I blinked up at him. "Doesn't Megan-"

A wave of disbelief swept across his face. "Of course Megan doesn't live with us. She has her own place. She is not my lover she is my friend and my doctor. That is all. You have to trust me on that. It's the only way we can move forward."

Goddess, I wanted to move forward. "Send her away Julian." I whispered. "Send her away and never see her again and we may have a chance."

His sigh spoke volumes. "I can't do that Cassie. For one thing she has a contract to work for me and the other-" he ran his hand through his hair again. "She is my friend."

His friend and his doctor that was all, a small voice in my head teased sarcastically and both were more important than me.

But hadn't that always been the way. Julian might speak so enthusiastically about moving on and building a future but he clung to the past and Megan anyway. How could we move on when he did that?

I turned my face away, my eyes stinging with tears that I refused to cry. "I'd like to go back to my room now."