Chapter 186

Cassie

Someone was screaming, more than one person but it was one wailing voice that stood out more than any of the others.

My voice I realised.

I was screaming. Loud and clear which was strange because my mind was anything but clear. I kept looking at Julian's prone body , and expecting him to get up. To jump up and laugh because this was all one big joke.

"Take her -"

I frowned, that was Ian's voice. But where was he? Where was Julian's second. He had been here a second ago before my whole world had ended. Before - before

"Julian." The screaming froze in my throat and the sound that came out instead was even more terrifying. A wild sobbing keening sound that felt like someone was gut punching me over and over again.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't move.

All I could do was stare at my mates blind sightless eyes as they stared straight ahead.

He was dead.

LIES

He couldn't be dead. The goddess would not be so cruel. She would not give him to me, make things better between us and then take him away from me. From us.

I had saved him once before.

I could do it again and the Goddess could be damned.

Falling to my knees , I slipped in the blood that pooled under him. Ignoring the warm sticky feeling I edged closer so I could roll him onto his back.

When we were children I had saved him. And then I became a doctor. I saved people all the time. I could save him.

I moved on auto pilot. Going through the motions but the entire time I was making that weird choking sound.

"I need-" holding my hand over the wound , I looked around desperately. "I need some-"

Ian's feet came into view and then he crouched down. I kept working. Not looking at him. I couldn't because I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear it.

What good would be all of my training if I couldn't save the man I loved? The father of my children.

"Cassie."

I ignored Ian's soft voice.

Leaning over my husband I listened for any sound of life.

"He's gone Cassie." There was emotion in Ian's voice. Sadness and grief and rage. So much rage.

"Why won't you help me?" I wept.

Softly, like I was an injured animal , he placed his hands on my shoulders and tried to pull me away.

"He's gone Cassie." Ian said firmly. "There's nothing you can do."

I shook my head and once I had started I couldn't stop. Tearing myself out of his arms I flung my body over Julian's. My cheek pressed against his bloody chest.

"What do we do?" Someone asked but I couldn't see anyone even though I knew they were there. So many people had gathered around but all I could see was Julian.

"There are-" Ian hesitated and his eyes met mine. "Protocols in place. I know them. We need to move his body and-" again his hands came to a rest on me and this time he used all of his strength to pull me into his arms. I struggled, fighting like a wild cat. Clawing and screaming but I didn't matter what I did, he wouldn't let go.

"Set a guard over the king, I need to make arrangements for Cassie." Easily he stood, lifting me with him. "The Lycans need to know. Niall and Noah-"

I froze. My eyes on Julian's unseeing face. He was dead, Ian was right about that. There was nothing I could do and now my infant sons were rulers. They would be hunted their entire lives.

Julian had sent them away so they wouldn't have the life he had.

Like a banshee I screamed, clawing at him I managed to get to my feet. Several people moved at once. Trying to corner me like I was a dangerous animal. They expected me to throw myself back on to the dead body of my mate but I knew that wouldn't do any good

LIES

Lies

lies.

Everything was a lie. I knew it. Turning on my heel , I ran. I ran past the staring people and their sympathetic faces, I didn't even look over at Megan as she was dragged away , a smile on her face.

All of this was lies. I knew it now.

"Cassie come back." Scarlett called. "Wait."

There was footsteps behind me, but I didn't look back. I knew they wouldn't catch me. The forest would swallow me and hide me from their eyes.

I didn't stop running, not until-

"I knew you would be back." The grey haired woman appeared , like a wraith out of the mist. A fine rain had begun. Falling heavier and heavier. Almost like the world was crying for my loss.

I fell to my knees in front of her, clutching at her legs. "Please."

"I am sorry Cassie. I really am. I am sorry that you had to do that"

Her words didn't make any sense. I hadn't done anything but love him. And now he was gone forever.

"Bring him back." I screamed. Because somehow I knew she had the ability to do that. I didn't know who she was but she was poweful.

"I can't do that. It's time to let go."

I flung myself onto the icy ground and sobbed. "Please bring him back. I know you can do it. I know you can help me. I'll do anything."

"Anything?"

I lifted my head even though it felt like it weighed a ton.

"Anything? Just bring him back."

"You're the only one who can go back Cassie." She said softly, her firm hands lifting me up.  "You're the master of your own destiny."

"Go back where? I just want my mates back. Bring him back to me."

Soft grey eyes studied me. "This is all lies Cassie and now you know that you won't be able to hold on to it. It's already drifting away from you." She sighed. "But there might be a way. If you are strong enough."

I stared at her. I didn't feel strong but if it meant I got my mate back then I would do anything. Anything at all.

"I just want Julian to be alive."

"Even if he doesn't love you? Even if the world around you changes? What if i told you that it was possible but-"

"Do it." I said without thinking.

"Do you mean that. Are you strong enough to deal with what might happen when you wake up? Maybe it would be better to just let yourself fade away."

"Is it a better place?"

"I can't tell you that. Decisions form our reality. But you can't stay here any longer. You are unravelling, it's time to either see the truth or let go."

I didn't understand a word she was saying. But it didn't really matter. "I just want to be with Julian and my babies. I want to be happy."

She nodded. "Then I wish you luck Cassie, you know what to do."

I lifted my eyes to her. "I do?"

"You have the magic of healing, and that means you have the magic to end it as well if you want."

Suddenly I understood. "Will it hurt?"

"Probably but isn't another chance worth it?"

It was.

Stepping away , I bowed my head for a second and then without hesitation I pressed my hand to my heart and let the magic flow and this time it came so easily

White hot pain flowed through my body. Electricity.

I fell down. Seeing through eyes that didn't feel like mine anymore.

Come on Cassie, don't give up

Ian rushed into view, his body flickering and swaying like I was seeing him through moving water. I saw his lips move and he called my name but it was already too late

Another zap of power flowed through my chest.

And a blinding white light blinked me out of existence.