Chapter 141

Julian

I was a dad.

It was amazing and scarier than anything else I had ever been through. Just holding their tiny wiggling bodies or changing a nappy was more daunting than anything I had ever had to do.

And the entire time Cassie smiled indulgently. She thought this was amusing. She didn't outright laugh at me but I could tell that she thought it was cute that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

I felt like an awkward fool. She had made it look so easy.

"Stop laughing at me. I don't even know if I'm holding him right? Am I hurting him rubbing his back like this?" I was trying to do it like she had showed me but everything about this situation felt awkward.

This was the first time I had held my children and it showed.

"You're doing brilliant. You're a natural." She disappeared for a second as she got something out of the oven which smelt like it had burnt to a crisp. Mesmerised by her I watched. It didn't bother me whether the thing she was cooking was inedible, I would eat it anyway because this was exactly what I wanted. This marital bliss and family life. This was what I would fight for. Not for my kingdom

And the right to be king and rule but the three people in this room. They were where my loyalty had to lay. I wanted us to be a family. And I would do anything to make sure that happened.

No more mistakes.

And that's why I had to do what was best for them. All of them.

"I am not a natural. I have never even held a baby before. At least you had practice."

Her eyes brows slammed down. "Because I'm a woman?"

"Because your a doctor." I countered.

"I'm a surgeon. And anyway being a mum is different. I would do anything for them you know?" She nodded her head thoughtfully to herself.

"I know. I feel the same." And I did. That's why I was going to do what was right.

"It's been exhausting though. I have a new found respect for single parents everywhere." She yawned. "And I burnt-"

I cut her off. "Go and lay down for an hour. I can manage."

She looked at me like I was crazy and honestly I felt crazy.

"I can't ask you to babysit so I can nap."

"It's not babysitting Cassie they are my pups too. I think I'll go and take them for a walk. Just in the garden." I added when she gave me a wary look. "I would not let anything happen to them. You have my word Cassie. On my life."

She hesitated for a second longer and then nodded. "I'll have a bath. I won't be more than fifteen minutes. Thank you." Padding over to me she kissed my cheek. "Shout if you need me."

"I will." I lied. I wouldn't need her and I wouldn't need more than fifteen minutes.

The moment I heard the bathroom door shut I wrapped both babies in their thick blankets and manoeuvred them into my arms comfortably.

A quick walk in the garden. A bit of fresh air. I knew we would be safe because there was no way Caspian would be far away. He was too protective to leave Cassie and the boys unprotected.

Walking as quietly as I could I headed outside and closed the door softly behind me. Instantly Caspian stepped out of the trees. His long dark hair shaggy around his angular face.

"I see." He said quietly. His eyes on my sons. "Are you sure about this?"

Was I sure? No! Was it the right thing to do? Yes.

"I wish I'd had more time with them but yes I'm sure. If I have your word that they will be safe?"

Caspian nodded. "My vow as a king and as a father. And I'll send you help for your war. The sooner this is over the better. Then you can reunite their family. Cassie?"

I shook my head. Cassie wouldn't leave, she had told me adamantly this afternoon. "If she changes her mind I will bring her to you but-"

"She's stubborn." He chuckled. "Like her mother. Give my grandbabies to me. We don't have much time. I can hear her coming down the stairs. She's a suspicious thing."

I handed my boys over. After one afternoon with them and it broke me.

"She has  very reason to be suspicious." I muttered. "Look after them-" I began to say but the words died on my lips. He was gone. Disappeared in a blink of an eye or so it seemed. In front of me there was nothing but the silent forest. Even the birds and insects had stopped their chatter.  Everything was quiet like the world was holding its breath.

Behind me the door opened. "Julian?"

I turned to her empty handed and her eyes widened. Dark wet hair dripped into her eyes.

"Let me-"

"Julian where are Niall and Noah. They aren't in their crib and-" her voice was rising. And I could tell by her face that she knew what happened.

"They are safe Cassie. They are with your father."

She launched herself at me. Her fists pounding into my face and shoulders as she sobbed. "You sent my babies away? You gave them away? You had no right. No-" sobbing she fell to her knees in the wet grass.

Seconds  passed as she sobbed and I could do nothing but stare down at her knowing there was nothing I could do to make this better for her. I had caused her this pain and I hated it even when I knew I had done the right thing.

"Cassie." Finally I reached down and touched her wet hair.

Her head snapped upwards and her wolf shone out of her eyes. Her wolf and something else. Her eyes seemed to crackle even I could see the heart break in them.

"I hate you Julian. I hate you and I will reject you." She sobbed as she pushed herself to her feet. "As soon as this is over I'll reject you, I'll go somewhere I never have to see you again. They were my babies. My boys." She stood there, her shoulders heaving and then she shook her head and fell back to her knees. "I will hate you forever Julian. And then I will hate you some more."