Chapter 190

Cassie

My children, my babies were outside. I knew it just as well as I knew the earth was round. Even if their scent was different.

But then everything was different here. Different and yet so familiar. It was hard to keep track on what was real and what was a dream. Or were they both real in their own way?

Even thinking about it was giving me a headache. I desperately wanted to sleep which was strange because I'd been asleep for quite a while according to the doctors who prodded and poked me and did all sorts of tests.

"So am I going to be ok? All fit and healthy?" I asked the grey haired woman from the woods that was now my primary doctor.

Ushering the others out of the door, she pulled up a chair and reached for my hand. "Cassie we need to talk about some thing."

"Am I going to die?"

She shook her head, her eyes flashing. "I've managed to keep you alive this long so no. I don't plan on losing you now. I know it sounds bad but you've kind of been my pet project."

I stared at her with my mouth open. "Yeah it kind of does sound bad."

"I realise that but in my defence I kind of knew of you before your accident. In fact." She lowered her voice. "I had extended an invitation for you to come  and work alongside me. Your application blew me away."

Frowning, I began to search my memories. Only I didn't quite know yet what was real and what wasn't.

"I am Doctor Howard. You applied to come and work with my surgical team. We mostly do-"

My head snapped up. "Traumatic brain injuries." I almost shouted it. I remembered that, I did. I had applied before I'd even been married. It had been one of my dream jobs to work and learn from the world renowned doctor Howard.

"Well it looks like I had the best possible care then."

The lines around her eyes deepened as she smiled. "I would have much preferred to know you as the talented young doctor you were then have you as a patient but I want you to know, that when things are better and with a little retraining that you have a spot on my team whenever you are ready."

My mouth fell open and tears pickled my eyes. "You mean that?"

"Of course but only if you want to. I do know that being queen and the mother of two young boys is going to be priority but I just wanted you to know that the option to practice medicine is still there."

"Queen?" The word felt wierd in my mouth. "So the king died here as well? Was it my father and Dun-"

Doctor Howard's face creased into a frown. "Cassie, the old king died peacefully in his sleep. Your father-" her eyes skirted away. "Your father died before that. I am sorry for telling you this all in a rush but we have to start coming to terms with reality and not your dream world."

Slowly I nodded my head. I couldn't trust myself to speak yet. My father was dead?

"My mother?" I asked in a rush.

"Your mother is healthy. Julian has been taking care of her. She's actually on vacation right now but she's been told that you're finally awake. I'm sure she will be here as soon as she can be. She visits almost every day."

So much had happened. Too much. "How long have I been in a coma?"

"Cassie I don't want you to-"

"How long?" Everything was different to what I knew and my memories were so messed up.

The hand gripping mine squeezed. "It's been five years since the accident." She said in such a quiet voice that I wasn't sure I had heard her properly.

"I beg your pardon."

"I know it's a lot to take in." She began to say and I cut her off. Throwing up my hand to silence her.

"Say it again how long?"

"Five years Cassie."

My chest heaved as I tried to suck in enough oxygen to stay alive. Shallow panting breaths to didn't do anything to calm the sudden tight band that was wrapped around my chest.

"Five-" I sobbed. "Oh my god. I didn't even give birth did I?"

"You twins were born by c-section when you were eight months. They were born completely healthy and they continue to be completely healthy. You would be proud of them."

My eyes darted towards the door. "But they're not babies anymore?"

Rhymically she brushed her thumb over the back of my hand , trying to calm me. But there was no calming me.

This was all to much but hearing that my babies were actually no longer babies had broken me.

"I never got to feed them." Tears were running down my face and my breasts felt heavy even though my milk had dried up years ago. All the memories I had of them, the ones I clung to, they had all just gone up in smoke.

"Do you remember the accident? When you crashed your car?"

I shook my head mutely. "I don't remember ever being in a car-"

"You had just received the call about Julian and Ian being in a smash and we think you were rushing to your husbands side. You fainted or blacked out and went under a lorry. They had to cut you out of the wreckage."

I shook my head again. "I don't remember anything but Julian's accident. I remember going to the hospital and-" I froze. "Well I guess that's where reality ends and the dream began." I said lamely.

So much had happened in that time though. A whole lifetime. And none of it had  been real?

"Can I meet my boys?" I asked desperately.

"Of course Cassie if you think you're ready?"

I nodded. I was ready. They were the only thing that could help me. The only thing I needed.

"If you feel overwhelmed for even a second, just give me a sign and I'll have everyone out, ok?" Moving over to the door she swung it open.

Their scent hit me first. Three scents that I knew better than my own and I sat up straighter as Julian walked in, his hand curled around the uplifted hands of two little boys with curling dark hair and twinkling blue eyes.

My boys, but not my babies because these little children had to be at least four. Dressed in the smartest , cutest little school uniform.

My heart gave a pang and I was suddenly so full of love and happiness that I thought I would burst.

My boys.

My happiness was short lived as a woman stepped into the doorway.

Lifting my eyes I met those of the woman who had taken everything from me over and over again.

Even in this reality she was still here.

Megan.