Chapter 194

Cassie

"How are you doing over there?" From the driver's side of his sleek silver town car, Julian reached out and caught my hand in his. It wasn't the first time he had tried to touch me since the day in the hospital garden three weeks ago. It was the first time I had allowed it to happen and I knew why.

The palace. It held so many memories for me now. None of them real even when they felt more than real to me. I had given birth in those secret halls, I had watched people I loved die bloody in there. And that's where we were going and I was terrified. More than terrified. My heart kept missing beats in its gallop against my ribs. I couldn't control my breathing and it kept coming out in ragged gasps.

I let Julian touch me because I needed the comfort.

"It's going to be fine Cassie." He murmured, entwining our fingers and bringing my hand up to his lips so he could kiss the back of it. "You're coming home and it's going to be fine."

"I know." I whispered. I desperately wanted to believe that but a part of me, a part I was trying to bury deep was telling me I was walking back into a nightmare. This all felt so similar and so familiar. Like I had done it before. Which of course I had , just not like this and not as when.

"Where is Ian?" I blurted out.

Julian turned his head sharply. "He's away on pack business."

"Oh."

Julian's eyebrows shot up. "You sound disappointed?" He turned onto the long winding driveway, past the guards that were standing to attention seeing the car approach.

"Those are new." I said quietly.

"Yeah." He shrugged. "When I became king I made some security changes. There's more guards now, especially when the boys are here. Not so many when they are in school."

"What do you mean when they are in school?" I asked twisting in my seat. "Don't they come home?"

"On weekends but they stay there in the week. Or they did. Since you woke up they haven't really been in at all." He squeezed my fingers in a reassuring kind of way but it didn't reassure me at all.

"You sent them away." I muttered and his fingers around my hand tightened. Another similarity to the dream. Another way for him to break my heart. "Again."

"It's the way of royals to go to boarding school Cassie." Julian said with a sigh. "But we can talk about it later when you are settled. I obviously don't want to bring them up in a way that we are both happy with and you've had a lot of time apart from them. So maybe for the next few months they can come home every night."

"They are just babies and you sent them away." I desperately wanted to rip my hand away from his.

"You are overreacting."

This time I did pull my hand away from his. Julian's sigh was heavy in the sudden quiet.

"I'm sorry." He caught my hand back up with his and this time he wouldn't let me pull it free. "I know this is hard for you. I'll try to be more understanding."

"Thank you." I whispered. But I didn't believe him. I don't know why I didn't but I didn't. He was being too nice and far too accommodating and it was making me suspicious.

"Why was you asking about Ian?"

I paused. "I don't know. I was just wondering." It was my turn to give a shrug.

"I didn't realise you two were friends." He slowed the car as the giant house came into view. And my hand tightened around his.

I didn't know if I could do this. My hand was so sweaty that it was a miracle my hand didn't slide straight out of his.

"We weren't here." I said.

"But in your coma dream?" He prompted.

"Yeah." Leaning forward I saw the giant banner that was held up between my two sons. The spelling was all wrong and their was brightly coloured paint splodges all over it but it calmed something inside of me to see the welcome home banner they had made themselves and their smiling faces waiting for me.

I could handle the fake memories of my children were there.

"How close?" There was a note of a growl in Julian's voice. A little sliver of jealousy.

I shot him a look out of the corner of my eye. "Not that kind of close. We were friends and he saved me. He was mated to a beautiful woman-"

Julian boomed out a laugh. "Ian mated? I don't think so."

"Oh ok."

"You liked his mate?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "She was an amazing woman and a great friend." I added. "I was hoping that part was real."

"I get that. But you will make new friends and there's people here who are looking forward to seeing you. One in particular."

I watched as a small smile tugged up the corner of his mouth.

"Who?"

"She wanted to come and see you in the hospital but -"

I inched forward to look out the windscreen and I couldn't believe what I was seeing because there was a small figure behind my boys.

A small welcome , familiar figure.

"Cathy." Her name ripped its way out of my throat in a loud sob. Flinging open the door I was out of the car before Julian had even pulled it to a stop.

"Cassie." Julian screamed my name, slamming on the breaks. He was out of the car in a second and after me but I didn't look back.

I ran as fast as my wasted body could move towards that figure.

Sweeping her up in my arms, I hugged her into my chest so tightly that she squeaked.

"It's good to see you as well your highness." She croaked.

I didn't say a word. There was no words that could describe my happiness anyway. Cathy was here. She was alive. She hadn't been skinned and her throat slit by our enemies.

So maybe just maybe this reality was better than the last one.