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Scarlet Resilience
**Megan**
I yawned as I sat at the kitchen table. It was half five in the morning and I was shattered, but I guess that's what happens when you don't sleep for days and then only have around eight hours sleep. Opening my laptop I walked to the kettle and made myself a coffee and then sat back at the kitchen table. I signed in and then signed into my IM and I saw Melanie and Tyler were online. I frowned and looked at the digital clock to see it said 05:42am. It was very unusual for Melanie to be online this early, never mind Tyler.
Then a conversation box popped up and it was Tyler '*Hey, do you know what's wrong with Melanie?'*
*'No, I just got on so I haven't been able to ask why?'*
'*Yesterday in school she collapsed'*
*'Hmm ok it'll be her anaemia or something but I'll talk to her and see'* I typed.
*'How r u?'*
*'Been better you?'*
*'Ok trouble sleeping though and yes I've took my meds before you ask,' *
*'I wasn't going to ask*,'
I then clicked on Melanie's name. I looked at her name to see it in bold black letters with a sad face.
*'What's wrong?*' I typed and waited for a reply. After about a minute she signed out. I frowned and then clicked onto Tyler's chat window.
*'Is Melanie online still?' *I ask
*'Yeah why?'
*'Seems she's blocked me'
*'You want me to ask why?'
*"No it's ok I need to go anyway'*
*'Ok'*
'Cya xoxo' *I typed and then signed out.
I sigh and take a sip of my coffee and close my laptop. I stood and walked into the living room. I picked up the bottle of vodka that Logan had gotten last night and walked back into the kitchen with it. I stood in front of my coffee and looked at it then at the bottle. I sigh and unscrewed the top, I didn't need this but I wanted it just to forget, my thoughts were killing me. All I ever think about is what has happened and nothing seemed to be helping me forget.
"What are you doing?" I heard Logan's English accent ask.
"I was just urm..." I gulped and looked at him "I was only going to have a little,"
"At quarter to six in the morning?"he asks, folding his arms across his chest. I sigh and put the bottle on the counter.
"Fine," I said, screwing the lid onto the bottle and making my way past him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of him.
"Did you have a nightmare last night?" he asks
"No, I'm just..." I trailed off.
"Just what?" he asks. I remained silent and winced a little when I felt him squeeze my wrist. He frowned, noticing my facial expression and pulled my jumper sleeve up revealing my recent scars. "When did you do these?" he asks.
"This morning," I mumbled, "and before I went to my session yesterday," I state. He sighs and drops my hand and I quickly cover my wrist.
"Should I ask why?"
"You know why," I snarled, "you think I can just forget just like that but I can't," I snapped and shoved past him and ran to my room.
**Logan**
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I know she can't just forget but she needs to realise that drinking isn't going to help her. It did annoy me that she felt she had to self harm when I was here for her. I walked over to the bottle and put it back in the alcohol cabinet and then started making breakfast for myself even if food seemed like the most hideous thing on earth at the moment with my hangover.
Hours had passed and I was sitting listening to Carl talk about one of his mate's birthday and his mate is apparently hiring him and his band to play. He was trying to persuade me to play for them but I wasn't in the mood.
"Oh come on Logan it'll take your mind off Steph,"he states. I sigh and look at him and then take the roll up from my lips.
"No, I don't have time," I said for the third time.
"Where is Megan anyway?" he asks
"Upstairs,"
"She's been up there for ages, does she not come out?"
"Yes but we got into a bit of an argument,"
"What over?"
"That's for her to tell you," I state and took a breath of my roll up.
"And you're smoking that stuff so I'm guessing you're not in a good place at the moment?" he asks. I slowly shook my head and then heard Megan walk in. She flopped onto the couch I was sitting on resting her head on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," she said but it sounded like she was crying. I turned and looked at her to see her crying. I sigh and give her a small smile. "It's hard to stop," she slurred. I frowned and moved her off me.
"Have you been drinking?" she nodded "where did you get the alcohol from?"
"There're alcohol cabinets everywhere in this house," she states "I got it from the games room I think," she states
"What have you been drinking?"
"Jacks," she said, closing her eyes. I sigh and look at Carl to see he was a little shocked and started drinking the cup of tea in front of him. "Logan?"
"What?" I ask
"Do you like sex?" She asks as if she was a five year old. Carl started choking on his tea
"Go get my dog out of your car now," I snapped at him. He was about to protest as to why I was snapping at him but he stopped when he saw the look on my face. He sighs and walks off.
"Ooo can I see Max too?" she asks while trying to get up off the couch. I put my hand on her shoulder keeping her from getting up. She looked at me and then smiled.
"You need to go upstairs and sleep the alcohol off,"
"No I don't," she states, frowning at me.
"Yes you do," I state "Now get upstairs and sleep it off,"
"No," she huffed while folding her arms. I sigh and take her hands in mine "I don't want to?"
"Why?"
"Because," she says. I sigh knowing she didn't know why herself.
"You were right with what you said earlier, you can't just forget everything but drinking isn't going to help," I state
"I know," she states and then looks at me "I just can't help it. It stops everything," she said, collapsing her head onto her knees. I sigh and sit on the coffee table (so I was facing her) keeping her hands in mine. "It stops everything from hurting and I like that," she states.
"It's only going to stop everything from hurting for a few hours," I state.
"I know but these few hours are the best I've ever felt," she said sitting up "I think I'm going to be sick," she states. I sigh and watch her stand up. She tumbled towards me and I caught her. "You kissed me last night," she informed me.
"I know," I sigh. She then stood straight and looked at me.
"Why?" she asks.
"I don't know,"
"You said you wanted to but I don't understand why you wanted to," she explained. I sigh I couldn't exactly tell her it was because I love her. She'd probably call me a liar and besides it was too much for her at the moment. "You also said you always do," she paused. "Do you want to know?" she asks
"No,"
"Oh,"
"But that's only because you're drunk and I'm not, it would be like I'm taking advantage of you," I paused "and I wouldn't ever want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you," I said and stood "now c'mon you said you felt sick," I said standing behind her and moving my hands down her arms to her hands.
"You're not like other men," she said leaning back.
"Ok then," I said a little confused and carried on helping her to her room. She stopped moving her feet once we were at the top of the stairs and turned. She smiled and hugged me while moving her hands up my back. I sigh and bent down and lifted her up from the bottom of her bum and she moved her hands around my neck.
"Will you come to bed with me?" she asks.
"I can't,"
"Well I'm not off to bed," she huffed as I moved into her room. "I want you to sleep with me," she slurred while pushing her body away from me. I let go of her and she stumbled back and then she steadied herself.
"Just go to bed, I will stay here till you're asleep," I say. She shook her head and moved closer to me.
"No," she moved her arms back round my neck and my eyes widened when I felt her kiss my neck.
"Logan I got Max," I heard Carl shout.
"O...K,"
"Are you ok?"
I remained silent and gulped as I felt kisses move to my Adam's apple. I knew as long as she didn't kiss me there I'd be fine and be able to control myself. Push her away I thought to myself as I felt her get closer. I bit my bottom lip once I felt her kiss my Adam's apple and I moved closer to her. She moved her hands to the top of my jeans weighing on my belt buckle as she leaned up to kiss me on the lips. It was too late. I was turned on.